For Laura

What a smile she had. It said "I care for you."
She never spoke aloud but only murmured to me alone.
The whispers swam through me,
Flew in me and kissed my dreams
Under the quilts
Even though I never slept around her.
Why would I? It would only waste time,
Time we could be loving in.
Whether we kissed, spoke, or were intertwined,
It was all love to me.
There was romance with none.
No star gazing or dining by lakes,
Only cloudy days in dreary parks
And rides on the bus
To her house at the edge of town.
And the stairs to the top
Of a car park open to the air
And overlooking right to the city limits.
After school was a regular time.
The uniform was 'ugly' she said,
I never noticed until I saw it on the floor
But even then it didn't matter.
The blue matched her eyes
And the crest was an excuse to look.
It wasn't about sex and sleaze,
The sweat was not the point.
The form was enough
And the warmth was a bonus.
The act was an expression
And we waited until it was right.
Her arms would wrap around my neck
And mine would wrap around her waist
And we would stare and just
Share the moment.
When we watched films
She would lean her head on my shoulder
And then mine on hers.
When I was sick I would lay mine
On her lap and she would stroke my hair.
I would pretend to sleep
Because I could never bring myself to.
I don't know why.
She never wore lipstick
Unless we were going to a party.
Her lips were perfect without and soft to touch
So I would when she let me but only then.
When we lay on the couch she would on me
Belly to belly. She was shorter and fitted just right.
She always said I was warm.
I always said it was my love reaching her.
That would make her smile.
We slept at night in her single bed
In the softest rose patterned covers,
I have yet to feel softer
As we curled together.

I don't miss it, but I do appreciate it.

Sorry I lied.

I was walking down a steep hill towards the grimey sewers
To meet a friend who lives there to talk of mine and yours.
We spoke of lifes small troubles that in time won't mean a thing
But still effect the day to day. Do you know the things I mean?
I brought with me a mask so to seem so in control
So I could be the strong one who would listen to him more.
But after quite a long release of built up pulsing strife
He asked me "Are you still affected by your lonely life?"
The mask, before I knew it had responded with the words
"Of course! It's not a big part of me now, I've lived and learned!"
But sure enough a mask made of any thing or kind
Can only say those words and smile. But in truth? In truth it lied.

The Flame

Burned as it did last night
But now only embers replace.
As the last year and a half
Drew onward so it grew.
It climbed to smile at the rafters
And tickle smokelessly.
It warmed at the thought
As we huddled after love.
The smoke grew aswell
And soon began to choke.
The heat now making me
Sweat out the impurities of delusion.
The orange glow now white
showed all imperfection.
They were inhanced by the irritation
And discomfort of my salty skin.
I couldn't take it anymore
So I backed from the fire now dying.
She came closer but was burned
As the white flames were hot.
The fire died down when I left
But I don't remember that,
It's what she told me.

Follow the fire

The fear is gripping in rememberance
Of a smile when painted in hearts red
That with only one touch did cripple my own
But not with angst, with love.
Even a whisp of memory stills me still
As my third eye is cast back.
Such rapture...
Drempt reality becomes delusion
In quaking rooms where static shadows
Cry mumbled screams and clutch
Faceless portraits on thin paper strips
Scratched in to the cracked walls
And tattooed on their eyes,
The only part of them which was clear.
The only part which was real.
In the halls with melting walls
And fire ceiling tiles for miles
Where crows and ravens sat
Gouging out the intestines and the fat,
I ignored their caw and craws
And followed down for some time
Before a door before me covered
In strange symbols and rusted chains
Creeked open, open slowly
And red light bathed by soul.
Her lips drifted out in a squall
Of perfumed petals
And rose buds, if I recall,
With splintered metal dripping salt.
They met to be with mine
But time would seperate, dismember
But only if I would not do it to her
Before the steel would have met her.
So I myself brought my own knife
And wildly closed my eyes and sliced
To save her from them all that night.
I cried for none would understand the plight.
She may not breath the air I do
Or see the path I've led down to
But she's down deeper than that hole
Alive in me trapped in my soul.

Not you again...

You know, it's been a while since I said a word to you.
So here it goes.

You're a low life in a pool of scum
A filthy fucking bitch
Not a wicked witch
Because there's nothing supernatural
About giving it for free.
It's as easy as one, two
Oops! That's three little kiddies
In your tramp stamp belly.
You make me laugh,
Laugh at you
Laugh at them
Laugh and giggle
With an iggle
Like a tickle
In my brain
When you speak to me
In that itchy bitch voice.
Stop your damn calling
My battery is low
And patience running lower
Than even you would go.
So,
FUCK YOU!!!
Little piggy
Fuck you with a stick
On a red hot spit
As I spit on you
So you buuble and boil
And maybe even blow away.
God damn,
God damn your plans
And your lifes work drowns
In the scum
As a low life, rich in bitch
And high in free clit.

"Remember me in your blood"

I have lost her for good now,
Yet I feel no good in it.
There is no going to what was
When the light shone and covered us both
And winds flew around us
With angels wrapping their protection around us.
Cupids kept us together
But some angels die sooner than others.
I can still smell her
It is still fresh
And I well with love when I do
As I was struck the other day
By the feeling that has left me
As if to tease me
And to hurt me
But it was the will of my heart,
Of that I am sure,
To punish me.

Fureur du sort Malheureux

A shining star cometh
Leaving behind smoke
That suffocates not
In the vacuum of space.
It is a son of a Father God
Who has spite for me
As I have seen His face
And was not struck down.
"Fall my son, whose name is as mine,
And crush the fool so I may exhume him
So to scatter what I have left of him..."


A fist full of led smashed down as a holy bomb
Sent from our Lords right hand
Carved in the earth a name of Beelzebub
Scorching those who saw it fall.
He cursed me with a serpent tongue
So none would ever believe.
My brothers, the angels,
Chained me under the sea
Everything I had died away
And was crushed in their gnashing teeth.
So I opened the sky with my spite when released
And spat in the face of their Gold heathen God.

Ba'al Zebub!
Lord of the flies!
Eating my eyes!
Eating my eyes!

War will silence the God.

I rose up, unwilling to go down in a whisper
And took in a breath to release out the anger
But He whom devours the corpses of demons
Spat out acid on my tongue.
War has silenced the thoughts I did have
And replaced them with offspring, it's maggots.
They chew 'til they spew out my mouth and reprise
I vomit my sin but don't die.

He soon devours me slow!
Ba'al Zebub!

Spat on my tongue so I couldn't speak!
Eating my eyes! Eating my eyes!
We will soon die! Under His might!
Heathens had me crucified.

Invisible So Soon

She's at the end
Fading slow
So slow not to notice
Like to grow
But she shrinks
Until the day
You think you can see through
What she now is;
A leopard print deity.
A black ring to see
The world through
And a broken soul to be
That fills with addiction
To stop the blood
From it's deep flow and fiction
But not enough
To drown in her kicks,
To float down the Styx.
A million people caress
The airbrushed gold Goddess
And pray
To be the Holy next.
She's had enough
But they have not.
A straight line inhaled
To keep the days going
Away. Gone today.
A surgical knife
That detaches persona
To shed off the life
And the dead flesh aroma
"We've had not enough!"
They scream as pigs
To the slaughter
When she is in sight
They trample and fight
For a piece that tears away
And even for one that won't.
Sorrow, her signature style
To follow as she sets the trend
As Hades follows close behind
Everything that touched
Venom ends.
She's at the end.
She's at her end.
She's at their end.
She's looks to end.
She looks to fly
Off the tallest temple
And stretches her wings
To fall.

Fickle viper

She calls me over with open eyes
Connected to mine.
Her back against a wall with hair let down
As I approach she lifts her frown
And drops her clothing to the ground.
Her seductive skin as silk and kin
To the velvet sheets we lay on.
She takes control and holds my arms
Like vipers holding prey and soon to strike
With venom teeth she bites.
As soon pulled back, my blood she laps
To feed her sick desire.
Snap the bones with steel caped teeth.
A wreath for me for I am left
In shallow lakes.

Red Burning Moon

In day we sleep for fear of night
For fear of fiendish spears of fright
For bloody predatory fights
For devils snarls and deads delight
In day we sleep so not to die
Picked off we were by things unseen
Our lands and seas that were serene
Deemed not to be by the God of Life
It who is the shining Light.
So those who came before us saw
It fit to burn in a dark caves maw
A fire to help reveal the claws
That hunted.
So they did and they were cursed
When Light came back and heard, it rushed
All where cursed from sacred tongue
And apart were cast so forever 'twould last.

Gun Runner

He cruses like a missile on turbo speed
Armed to the fucking teeth
With exploding knives and nail bombs
And tons of C4 with a short fuse
Looking straight at you and yours.
So don't be running like the lambs
Because light is faster than sound
And he's broken the limit
With razor bullets and gunpowder
Dusting your mind for fingerprints
To frame your ass for what he does.
Bomb like the fun runners
Boom, boom, burn.

A Well Remembered Dream

We walked along a golden beach with a purple sky.
The trees, oh, the trees. The most luscious green I ever did see.
The sea was also green, but it was different.
The purple and the sea green mixed together and danced.
The ever changing colour was mystical.
We held hands as we walked.
The words we spoke I couldn't hear.
I couldn't feel the sand between my toes.
I couldn't smell the sea air.
But my heart raced.
I watched from far away as we walked
Just out of reach of the tides ebb and flow
But I came closer to hear our words.
By the time I came close enough
We had stopped and I asked you
"Could you love me if I changed?"
You told me that 'it didn't matter.'
You looked me in my muddy eyes
"You could arrange the stars in my honour
And push the moon away,
You could brush away the mountains
And drain the sea,
I will always love you."
Her hair was the coat of a panther
Or the feathers a raven
Or pelt of the Kuroi Ookami.
Like the soul, perhaps?
Her eyes changed their colour
Like the sea we shared.
To every colour imaginable
And all those in between.
Her skin was as pale as the moon
And purer than angels.
"I will return," she said
"When you need me the most."
I pleaded that I needed her now.
"No, you will need me later
And I will be there for you.
I love you"
She left me standing there
And as I now saw through my eyes
I could feel the pang of tears
But none ran down my face.
She flowed as she walked away.
"I will wait. Just don't let me wait too long."
I wake.

The three and a half year riegn

And from such water that feeds the fields the Dragon, the Great Corrupt reveals his fiend of perfect heads with metric crowns and rebel names. Such power would he attain. For the Great Corrupt spat acid bath unto every name of God, our Lord, as no epitaph was given to the fiend from gnashing, blasphemed seas as a wound of mortal bane was taken from such so through kingship reign. But only for such time as to steal the souls of men. Through proud words and blasphemies he sneered as though saints were disease and to the cage the following go and to the sword the disciples go.

You are cordially invited to...

A hallowed chorus echoes in the deep woods.

White smoke stains the black sky grey.

Flaming torches fly side by side together humming,

Enchanting those whose lives are soon to change.

The dead cold creeps ever closer.

Gnawing on the limbs of children dancing.

Laughter's hollow sound is swallowed quick by Bacchus hushing,

By opiates. These stay the cold, for now.

The fire grows higher as the bodies count.

Yet some slip away to regret the night.

Pagan on their tongues yet rusted nails bleed in their hands

And all the while debauchery flows.

The excess begins to show on the yellow grass trod dead.

Weeping mixed with harrowing cries as lovers break to find new ties.

Flowers picked at bud slow the hearts, and slow the breathing.

Some will not be found to have been dead until the evening.

Some will birth new life out of weak will.

Some will choke on wine and will never see the dawn.

Some will befriend the needle and will weave a life soon short.

Some will carry plagues as a secret.

A horror chorus echoes in the morn.

Black smoke stains the white sky grey.

Fading lives exhausted trudge the putrid stomach floor.

All will end breathless, lifeless, bloodless and no more.

Unlet

From the heart comes a wily winged spawn

Eyes treacherous bleeding the winds of dawn

And portraying its thoughts, as a psychic fiend,

To drive men wild in to the horn of Re'em,

In to the maw of Gods Leviathan seen.

And he, the demon of black, horrid heart,

Born from the years under the fist of Hate

Spread his wings and flew to the gate

Of the souls unresting, weakening cage.

With the key of life held in hand,

With reigns in the other, locks fell there and

The white beast with eyes of knowledge roars

"The accuser will die. My father is mine."

Stone

It was under such skies,

Of which she was the eer,

Black with ten thousand eyes.

Mithra.

With such just weeping tears

That fear unleashed vex

From the jaws of her soul.

Cerberus.

It snapped and snarled,

Ripped and tore

Asunder from that of my whole.

Like that of a Juggernaut

Slaying the Gods

In spite, she slew me

With mercy no more.

"Abhor," said she

"Do I to thee.

You wretched of Adam.

Like Cain thrown to sea

Of sand." I stand no more.

Not here. For my heart is gone.

Bled in her hand it stays

Forever. Though I may endeavour

Through tears to attain

What was once gained

Through love and through pain.

Amore.

So long has it been,

That cast out of mind

The feel of joy and laugh.

December now falls,

A corridor calls,

I answer as light does fade.

There was never a Before:

During:

I walk into the house of a static killing I hear her call from up the stairs blood trailing every step a sign of erotic struggle splashes of white a flag of sweet surrender the bathroom door was flung open like you didn't care if I knew war torn clothes litter the white powdered hall but the scene is now complete you call from the vat of acid bathe water stained the colours of betrayal melted emeralds with boiling reds and discarded silver tears.

After:

I lash out in a sword spree of vengeance as insanity takes hold of my once logical mind. My efforts to thrash off my chains end in bloody wrists and failed, shallow breaths. But still and ignorant mind will not give up on a loved existence that, in the end, is ultimately unattainable.

Black Wolfskin

In these deep winter sun rests

O'er hill, field and ice

Vex splinters hunters.

The prey runs and dies.

They know who does kill

In these cold winter nights

For prints in blood spread

O'er the withering heights.

Blood sprays from the throat.

Joints crunch under teeth.

No stain on his coat

Of black, silken and neat.

Eyes white lain on black

Like two moons with thin cracks

For the soul to see through.

Peering daggers look at you.

Vexé

In my silent shell I scream and curse so no one can hear me.
The walls echo empty with screams of their own.
My bones break slow from stress and from the aching.
And tears taste bitter after fury wilts and dies.

New Plains

Quiet now, be still.
Be still to hear the howling.
The city lights can not blot out
The moon and wolves are prowling near.

Fear runs deep.
Runs deeper than the waters.
These wolves are different from you
And when you move they'll know you're here.

Lone black wolf.
Black allies will not hide you.
Moon rays won't disguise you.
You stick out like your pelt was crimson red and stank of rotting death.

Hide yourself. Be wary.
Roll in coal and soot.
When you walk look as one of them
To keep the lifeblood warm and then
When lakes are near wash off you sins
To remember where you came from.

The waters show your friends,
From the Zodiac they pend.
The Monkey and the Dog,
The Rabbit, Snake and Tiger,
But you are of a different trend.
You are Wolfskin to your end.

But stay not long by water,
The vicious pack draws near.
Steal away 'til tomorrow
Where perhaps you'll find a friend.