Lonely Wolfskin, where are you going?

For the past 6 years I have, for the most part, been with some one or another. Whether it was a short fling, an emotion relationship or a full fledged over-a-year 'going out'. Now that I'm not with anyone I feel... alone. That's the best way to put it. With now being out of school and seeing my whole life ahead of me, not being with anyone and not being able to sleep too often I have to say I'm a tad scared... It's not haunting or paralyzing, but it is a fear. A fear of the unknown? Maybe. I suppose the added bonus of not being with anyone is that I have no female presence I respect enough to confide in. Some one who cares enough to listen. Not that I have no male friends to do so with but I have no female presence. The difference, I have found, is profound. I am 'a true romantic', as a friend once told me and having a girlfriend I can confide in is important to me both mentally and emotionally. I can honestly say I have been happiest when I was with someone. It validates me, in a way. It says to me that I am good enough to be, dare I say, cared for and even perhaps loved? I don't think I've felt 'love'. I mean by that the kind of love that two people truly feel for each other. I think that's best. Better not to know and find out that 'have loved and lost', eh? I know, of course, the unconditional love from my mother. My father? I'm not so sure. I don't doubt it's there, but have I felt it?... Anyway.
I find myself missed part flings and girlfriends. Not because I want them back like a desperate fool, but just because I was with someone. And even though we are broken up for a reason, we did have good times. Kinda with I had someone again. Oh, yeah. That Eileen thing (the girl I mentioned a few blogs back). We ended up going out, after a month of an unofficial relationship, for about 2-3 weeks but, as you can guess, we're no longer. No hard feelings or anything, which is good. Flat out honestly and the point of this blog? Right so. Open up the chest and show the heart of this lamb dressed in wolfskin: I just want someone to love and hope that they will love me too. Poke fun and call me whatever you want but you all want it too, I just have the balls to say it. I'll never give up on that. I know little but I see much and and something that I have seen and learned is that there is indeed someone for everyone. No matter who. Someone that will stay with you through thick and thin. I'm not thick. If you don't treat that person right you will lose them. If you yourself are too blind and selfish to see past your own shit and be a loving person you will lose them. I'm am well aware of that. I dunno. I just want to meet them. Would be nice. Or even a nice girl to share a bit of my life with as I have with a few. I don't see those relationships as worthless because that is insulting towards them and you. I chose to spend my life with people who are careful, but not too carefully, chosen. If your standards are too high you'll get no one. You're only wasting time and I'm done wasting time. Want to find someone. Soon, hopefully. But this is not the kind of thing to be impatient about. So I suppose I'll just search and wait.