Prayer.

I love late night radio. Just chill music. Brilliant.


You said to me that I will find someone one day who will "complete the tears in my heart." I pray that I will only meet her when I am fully ready. I pray to God that he will watch over me in my days and more so in my nights. I pray with my music and I say silent prayers in my head. I am, once again, alone in my stance, right now. But, I pray I will meet you and them soon. Even though my mouth says sometimes I don't believe, I do. I always have. And I always will. Knowing what I know, how can I not? But right now I am progressing slowly by my self and I would like some company. The kind of company you can sit by a lake with and sit in silence for a few minutes with no words between you both. I knew it was you. I know your walk, even if I only hear it. It was picturesque; the moon was high and reflected off the lake water with a few clouds drifting in and out of the steel light. It was cool but not cold. We hugged and I didn't feel weird after our talk. I don't remember how long we talked for. It was the last time you stayed before you returned to your home. I still have the letter you gave me and the crucifix is still tied to my bed post; a gift when you left. I miss you all so much. When the three or two, I forget, went to stay with you for a while, I was jealous of them. All the things you did together. Even just staying with you for a while would have suited me fine. The CD of Nick Cave and The Bad Seeds you gave me because you didn't like it, I still have that, too. When I hear the songs I am reminded of those times in Roscommon. The tent in the attic.
But I just want you to know I remember those times and I miss them. You're a bastard because you spoiled me with good company and then left, but you know I love you Jon. I pray for you.