Too much time.

If I lie in bed for too long
Awake in still bleakness,
The Reaper lies beside me
And whispers in my ear
Telling truths bent by mind,
Foreseeing ends yet unwritten.
I am paralyzed by fear.

I am scared.

I am afraid.

I cry and fidget.
Getting out of bed
I am restless with helplessness
Because I can not stop the end.
It is too late in the night
And I have no one to embrace me.
I am not little any more
And my Mother can not help me.
I pray to God with tears
But the silence grows stronger.
I am paralyzed by fear.

I am shivering.

I am alone.

Now with the bathroom light above me
I calm a little and sit on the tiles.
Even with my knees drawn close
I do not feel protected.
I will think in the light
For a different outcome.

Every day is slow but memory is fast.
The sun does not rise any faster
Or speed to the other end.
It takes pace as it has for eons.
We all must die
As we all are fragile.

Easy to come.

Easier to go.

Only when my time is up will I die.
That is not yet written.
Too much life and you lose your passion.
Immortality was not meant for us
Because we are weak and small
Unable for the responsibility
Of Gods power.

I hope if I reach old age
I will accept my end
And have only the regrets
Of my sins.
But for now
I will shiver
On the cold tiles
In the dim bathroom light.