Life

It's been hard lately. For most of my time I think. What else is there to do? My days are routine: go to school, play guitar, work out, eat, breath, sleep. I hate it. I hate school. School itself is fine. It is there for a purpose. However, the time wasted infuriates me. School is not me. I was not made for education. I do not want to be in that hell hole. There is no chain that binds me to it. I am an adult. I can leave and get a job if I wanted to. The thought crosses my mind every day. Why don't I? One reason. I may want to become an Officer in the army at a point. I need my L.C. for that. I am even wondering if I want to be in the army or not. I love the world. I love nature. Mountains, rivers, beaches (to an extent), grasslands, forests, jungles, seas, deserts, all of it. I love it all. The sky in all its wonders that are taken for granted. Standing in the thundering rain makes my heart swell. Lightning striking the Earth or racing across the clouds. It's beautiful. The stars and other space creations. Nebulae, planets, suns, moons, asteroids, meteoroids, comets, all of them. Everything. All the works of man can not come close to nature. All we seem to do is strive to copy it thinking we can do better when we can't. We manipulate trying to better the world of tomorrow and throwing our waste on today. Every today we do the same never to touch tomorrow. Never to see the benefits of our alterations of this planet, only to succeed in destroying the only place we have to live. This is what I live for. The world. To trek high into the mountains and shout at the highest peak a wordless cry of freedom that the Earth itself echos back to me in a chorus of admiration for life. Let the wolfskin I wear become real for a few fleeting moments of true happiness. Of true fulfilment and purpose. Let the intellect fade in to nothingness, leaving only the Earth and I to be one. I want to be free. Here, I am not free. I am bound. Here, I and forced into standardised testing, thinking, doing and a standardised life. Here, we are all chained. We march every day through our streets of grey cut stone slabs and see our airbrushed monarchs and deities on magazines and on the T.V. screen. Distractions from the misery we have bought in to. People peer in to the lives of others to ignore their own. Our hunger for technology and mass production combined with scientists that don't know when to stop has led us down this long road. Some try to swim and dive in to life, but they break their necks on the rock bottom of this shallow puddle we all seem to trudge through. People let their bodies turn to shells, uncaring what happens to them. Letting the drugs take hold of them, letting the grease and butter soakings seep in, letting the smoke build its cancers on strong foundations of addiction. I have done drugs, I have smoked, I like the taste of butter on my toast, but I have made the conscious to stop. In a modern world where heart failure is a stones throw away to the closest and cheapest food you wan find, I'm saying "I'll enjoy my little bits, but I will not fall pray." Moderation is the key. It always was the key. Too much is bad. Of anything. Food, drink (not just alcohol you idiots), oxygen, exercise, fat, sugar, fiber, sleep, sex, everything. If you have too much it'll do you harm. Even time. Mortality is the greatest blessing an the greatest curse. We are weak and die easily. Too little of life and you never had a chance. Too much and you lose your zest.
You know I'm right. If I put this much thought into something, I'm rarely, rarely ever wrong about it. It comes with my double-sided sword. Being analytical. I can get things right with a lot of thought. Too much thought and I'm wrong. Thankfully, with this I have thought just enough.

Bye.