Testing... One, Two. Testing...
It's really hard to find someone like me. This sounds really wanky, but 'ogres are like onions' and in this instance, I'm an ogre.
(Essentially, I'm going to sound like a self praising emo sounding like he's so special and unique. What a fag, right?)
I have an incredible talent at reading people. I hardly ever tell people what I see and it sounds even wankier to say I know I'm usually right. I focus on it because I'm interested in people and how they interact and social bonds and the like. The facets of people. So I read a lot about psychology and personality types so naturally I've read a lot about my own type and done many tests and quizzes to pin point as accurately as I can what I am. I'm an INFJ, for those of you in the know. For those NOT in the know, that's a Myers-Briggs via Jung analyses. If you read up on it you'll find that INFJs are the rarest of all types. Yay! I'm special! BUT WAIT, let's rewind that party and go back to the 'rarest' bit of that and put a tab on it, we'll return in a second.
Hailed as being some of the deepest psychs around, INFJs are ALMOST paradoxical but it's more along the lines of 'two sides of the same coin'. But that coin is huge and almost impossible to read or figure out. In my mind it seems to be one of the natural rules in motion but in a psychological way. The natural rule I mean is 'the bigger the animal, the less there are of them'. Eg, billions of one insect species, let's say ant, only a few thousand of Sauroposeidon, the largest living land animal ever. INFJs are the latter. Which brings me to the 'rarest' bit I mentioned earlier.
Rare is good, right? Like gold or other RARE things, they're held in high esteem because there is only so much of it. Fine if you're an inanimate object, but as a person this sucks major ball cleavage. Not to mention I'm picky as hell. And I kinda hate myself. So if I happen to meet another of the less than 1% of humanity that is my personality type I could be drawn to killing them. Super.
But what I'm REALLY getting at (Taking ages to get to a point? That's not like you at all Ronan...) is that it's really hard to find someone who understands me. WANKY! I know. If I didn't say it, you would have. But I don't mean in the whiny teen way. "I'm SOOO misunderstood!" I'm rarely misunderstood. I can get my feelings and thoughts across well. Even emotions are communicated clearly. I'm saying that ONE person in the WHOLE WORLD that I've EVER MET. EVER. Understood me. Not even to a scary depth, I was really happy that they understood and could read me. That person is gone. And most of the time, because of how no one understands me, I feel really alone.
I often go to town and just walk around to watch people. But I'm not one of them. In school I wasn't one of them. At home I'm not one of them. Apart from my best bud, I don't feel like I'm one of anyone and even when I'm chillin with the brosive I still get giant pangs of heart crippling loneliness. I don't think of myself on a higher plane looking down on people, it's a feeling of separation not superiority.
People see what I want them to see. I know everyone can say that, but I really do attend to that all the time. And because of my ability to read people I can tell when something is off in a person, when they're lying or not telling the whole truth or faking a sentance or emotion. It's fairly easy. But I can, weirdly, tell they're life to them. Major accurances, people they've lost, etc. Intuition basically. A damn strong sense of intuition. Which is usually right. And I define intuition as 'knowing the answer without knowing the question or the workings (rough work)'. Thankfully I'm not one of those people who believe they're psychic. I can look back on my answer and figure out how I got here. and learn and blah blah blah.
Fuck, this sounds so wanky. It's sickening. When I think about it, who am I writing this for? Or to? Who reads this thing?! I THINK I get hits but from who? Is it people I know? If it IS no one EVER mentions it.
You know what? If I know you and you don't comment or talk to me about this stuff then I want you to fuck off and never read this stuff again. Because this is a one sided conversation, me blabing my thoughts and you're just listening and not even trying to respond or take part or open up a dialogue. You're an asshole and I honeslyt want you to fuck off reading this stuff. I'd rather have a page that only I read and I just write whatever the fuck I want so that someday maybe someone will read it and actually talk to me about it than have YOU musing over this stuff and noding or thinking whatever stupid asshole thoughts you think, because you're an asshole. And that goes as well for my poetry page.
(Essentially, I'm going to sound like a self praising emo sounding like he's so special and unique. What a fag, right?)
I have an incredible talent at reading people. I hardly ever tell people what I see and it sounds even wankier to say I know I'm usually right. I focus on it because I'm interested in people and how they interact and social bonds and the like. The facets of people. So I read a lot about psychology and personality types so naturally I've read a lot about my own type and done many tests and quizzes to pin point as accurately as I can what I am. I'm an INFJ, for those of you in the know. For those NOT in the know, that's a Myers-Briggs via Jung analyses. If you read up on it you'll find that INFJs are the rarest of all types. Yay! I'm special! BUT WAIT, let's rewind that party and go back to the 'rarest' bit of that and put a tab on it, we'll return in a second.
Hailed as being some of the deepest psychs around, INFJs are ALMOST paradoxical but it's more along the lines of 'two sides of the same coin'. But that coin is huge and almost impossible to read or figure out. In my mind it seems to be one of the natural rules in motion but in a psychological way. The natural rule I mean is 'the bigger the animal, the less there are of them'. Eg, billions of one insect species, let's say ant, only a few thousand of Sauroposeidon, the largest living land animal ever. INFJs are the latter. Which brings me to the 'rarest' bit I mentioned earlier.
Rare is good, right? Like gold or other RARE things, they're held in high esteem because there is only so much of it. Fine if you're an inanimate object, but as a person this sucks major ball cleavage. Not to mention I'm picky as hell. And I kinda hate myself. So if I happen to meet another of the less than 1% of humanity that is my personality type I could be drawn to killing them. Super.
But what I'm REALLY getting at (Taking ages to get to a point? That's not like you at all Ronan...) is that it's really hard to find someone who understands me. WANKY! I know. If I didn't say it, you would have. But I don't mean in the whiny teen way. "I'm SOOO misunderstood!" I'm rarely misunderstood. I can get my feelings and thoughts across well. Even emotions are communicated clearly. I'm saying that ONE person in the WHOLE WORLD that I've EVER MET. EVER. Understood me. Not even to a scary depth, I was really happy that they understood and could read me. That person is gone. And most of the time, because of how no one understands me, I feel really alone.
I often go to town and just walk around to watch people. But I'm not one of them. In school I wasn't one of them. At home I'm not one of them. Apart from my best bud, I don't feel like I'm one of anyone and even when I'm chillin with the brosive I still get giant pangs of heart crippling loneliness. I don't think of myself on a higher plane looking down on people, it's a feeling of separation not superiority.
People see what I want them to see. I know everyone can say that, but I really do attend to that all the time. And because of my ability to read people I can tell when something is off in a person, when they're lying or not telling the whole truth or faking a sentance or emotion. It's fairly easy. But I can, weirdly, tell they're life to them. Major accurances, people they've lost, etc. Intuition basically. A damn strong sense of intuition. Which is usually right. And I define intuition as 'knowing the answer without knowing the question or the workings (rough work)'. Thankfully I'm not one of those people who believe they're psychic. I can look back on my answer and figure out how I got here. and learn and blah blah blah.
Fuck, this sounds so wanky. It's sickening. When I think about it, who am I writing this for? Or to? Who reads this thing?! I THINK I get hits but from who? Is it people I know? If it IS no one EVER mentions it.
You know what? If I know you and you don't comment or talk to me about this stuff then I want you to fuck off and never read this stuff again. Because this is a one sided conversation, me blabing my thoughts and you're just listening and not even trying to respond or take part or open up a dialogue. You're an asshole and I honeslyt want you to fuck off reading this stuff. I'd rather have a page that only I read and I just write whatever the fuck I want so that someday maybe someone will read it and actually talk to me about it than have YOU musing over this stuff and noding or thinking whatever stupid asshole thoughts you think, because you're an asshole. And that goes as well for my poetry page.
posted by Lamb at
12:49 AM
